Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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