Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
