i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Your topless pictures make me question reality
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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