What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
