you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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