In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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