I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
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If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
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I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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