He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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