i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
