dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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