I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
