Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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