Your mouth is God's brothel.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
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I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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