I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
