my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
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She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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