UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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