and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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