ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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