OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
