Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
