47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
