I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Pants are for mortals
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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