That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
