He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
