Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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