Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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