i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
