Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
