so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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