my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
