party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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