There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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