i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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