i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
