New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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