called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
