everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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