med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize