ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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