He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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