im drinking this country out of the recession.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
