i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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