I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
