they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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