I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
