I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
