haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
