well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
