she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy