we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed