I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
