I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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