Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize