im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
