I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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