what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
