What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize