Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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