At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
