I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize